Do you guys like fairy tails? I will let you in on a
little secret, but if you tell on me I will DENY it forever… I LOVE them! So
check it out, this Murph is gonna tell you an even BETTER story. This one’s
TRUE! Of course it stars ME. What kinda story is better than THAT?!
This story takes me back a LONG time…not to a galaxy far
far away or anything… but it was pretty long. Before my Mom and Dad were even
married!
You should probably be sitting down for this one. It’s
very dramatic and you should get comfy. Maybe grab a snack? I should grab a
snack…WAIT. Sorry, I was starting to tell my story. Well. About 13 years ago,
my Mom and Dad began to date. Now, life had been pretty good, all things
considering. Mom and I hung out every day when she was finished with work or
school. We watched TV, she gave me food, I chilled out on her shoulder while
she worked on the computer designing things or doing homework…I slept on a pillow
on her bed… we were BEST friends. THEN (I always think that there should be an
impressive drum roll here…) “IT” happened. My Mom and Dad started to date. I
didn’t think much about Dad, really. Mom dated here and there. Sometimes she’d
be gone on a date and come home late…but she’d get me out and tell me about her
evening. It was all good. But DAD. Well. I could tell right away he was
different. She talked to him on the phone. She talked to ME about him. She
talked to my aunt Erin about him. She talked to EVERYONE about him. And when I
met him…well, he didn’t seem that great to ME, but what did I know? I was only
3 years old… but pretty soon she was with him ALL the time. They went out, or
they hung around home, but I wasn’t sitting with them the whole time. I got put
to bed early. NO SNACK. I didn’t get to sleep on my pillow in the bed because I
had to go to bed early. Life was beginning to annoy me. The last straw was when
I heard something about moving out…getting married. Was she going to leave me behind?!
I was kind of scared… I needed to take action! DOWN WITH THIS GUY! I launched
into my plan...
Well. While we were staying with Grandma before this
whole WEDDING and moving out thing, it was the end of winter. It was nearly
spring, but still winter. And it was COLD. It’s ALWAYS cold at Grandma’s house.
Mom was gone all the time. She kept telling me she was
looking at apartments with my almost Dad. All I knew is that guy was taking my
Mom away from me and I wasn’t gonna take it anymore. It was either HIM or ME.
And I picked ME. We had a pretty good life before he came along and ruined
everything.
I heard Mom’s car pull into the driveway after work one
night. She flew into the house, went down to her room, and she was talking to
me…yelling up the steps while she ran around. “hey little Murph! Howsit going,
buddy? I can’t stay…getting ready to go see an apartment!”
HA. Not if this Murph could help it! I got prepared. I
jumped around a little and rumpled my feathers…I stretched… I got into
position…
I heard Mom’s steps as she flew back up to the kitchen,
and she came around the corner to the living room.
“you’re
awfully quiet little bud-“ she stopped dead in her tracks and FREAKED out. It
was hard not to laugh, actually, but I kept it in… I was frozen to my spot,
eyes glazed over… vacant look on my face…
“MURPHY!!!! Buddy! Are you ok! What’s wrong!” Mom said to me in a
hysterical voice. The panic and fear I heard kind-of made me feel bad, but I
focused on my goal: get rid of this guy! For good measure, I let out a small
sneeze… that did it! Mom was panicked.
“MURPHERS!
My baby! What’s happened! You’re sick! OMG! My little scoopers! My little boy!”
Mom was trying to feel my head and she was upset. Poor Mom. But I couldn’t
abandon the plan NOW. I was pretty close to the prize.
Her stupid phone rang while she was bringing me and my
cage into the kitchen because, as she pointed out, it’s the warmest room in the
house. Normally I squawked my head off when the phone rang, and I was SO good –
NOTHING. Silence. She was upset when she answered. “OH MY GOSH my Murph is
sick!!!! NO you don’t understand! He didn’t even make a PEEP when the phone
rang! He’s been sneezing!!!!”
There was a silence on her end while she listened to Dad
speak.
“ok…
yeah…ok… I will figure out where to take him…how long will you be?” she asked
into the phone. “ok…thanks…” then she was crying. “ok. I will. My poor little
Murph.”
She hung up as Grandma got home and came into the house.
Mom told her what was going on and THEN she said “Scott
is on his way – he’s going to take us to the Vet! Poor little Buddy…”
The VET. Mental note – when pretending to be sick, don’t
be SO good they take you to the Vet! EEP! Then Mom said “I need to run upstairs… will you take
care of him for a minute?” Grandma said yes. Which is funny because she and I aren’t
exactly fond of one another…
I was getting kind of stiff and cold in this pose, so
when Mom left I stretched out and yawned…then I cleaned a few feathers.
“YOU
little FAKER.” Grandma said to me.
Oh well. The Jig was up. It was only Grandma. “You
scared your Mother half to death you big faker.” Grandma told me.
I laughed and she frowned. “you’re a bad boy.” Well, I supposed maybe I was… but I needed Mom to stay
home with me. I missed her.
“How is he
doing!” Mom asked, running into the room. OOPS. She saw me. My cover was blown.
I went back into my position anyway, in case she didn’t see me. I even sneezed
again.
No dice…she was on to me.
“MURPHY!
You bad boy! You scared Mama SO MUCH! I was freaking out!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE
YOU FAKED!!!!”
long story short… Mom went apartment hunting with Dad
anyways. BUT she DID come home early that night. With some leftover fruit salad
from her supper.
“well
buddy.” She said, sitting down with me in her room. “I suppose I have been gone
A LOT lately. I am sorry you were so lonely that you pretended to be sick. But
PLEASE don’t do that any more, ok? I was terrified something was wrong with
you!”
I moved closer on her shoulder and gave her a kiss and
cuddled up to show her I loved her.
Then she pet me a little and told me how she and Dad
were looking for a place for all THREE of us to move into…and that she’d never
leave me. That helped. At least now I knew I’d be going too!!!! Although I
wasn’t too sure about this “Dad” guy yet… which takes me into the next story…
The first few weeks after Mom and Dad got married, Dad
would come into the bedroom to get ready for bed. I was already there in my
cage, in my new bed that they bought me. It is all fuzzy and comfy. I know I
know, you’re going to tell me how I don’t like anything fuzzy. And I will deny
this too – BUT I LOVE my fuzzy bed. There. I said it. Anyway, it still wasn’t
as good as sleeping on my pillow with Mom. But this Dad guy was on my pillow
now. So I got a fuzzy bed in my cage. Hmmm. I got the short end of the stick
AGAIN. Maybe it would be fun to get Dad in trouble a little. I thought that sounded
pretty good. So every night Dad would come into the bedroom to get his stuff
together for the next day and get ready for bed. Mom was packing her lunch for
work. So after a minute or two, after Dad had come in and said “hey buddy” and
began his routine, I’d sneeze. LOUDLY. Once or twice.
Then Mom would come RUNNING into the room and I’d
cry a little. And in a scolding voice she’d say to Dad “WHAT did you do to make him cry?!”
Heh heh heh. I admit it. I got A LOT of chuckles outta
that one. Ah. Those were good times!
Eventually, Mom was on to me for that too. Oh well. It was
fun while it lasted! Dad and I came to a pretty good understanding one day
after we shared some cake. Once we learned how much the other one loved cake,
we figured out that the other one of us wasn’t so bad after-all. Which is good
because we ALSO share the same birthday. Oh well…ya can’t win ‘em all!!!!
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